It's a fucking "Rant" right?

I named my blog (although that's not what I consider it) Rantings of the last Jacobian" and I've yet to rant once! Unless you count some of the Smerz shit I wrote and if you do, for shame, thinking that low of me that I would actually write so little for a rant!! However this is in fact the beginning of one of my rants. I hope you took a shit before you start this because if you didn't, you many need some new pants or shorts afterwards.

FIRST: Women
Here's a pretty easy one to start with.
What the fuck is wrong with us!? Aww poor us, were so fucking individualistic that we can't get fucking girlfriends! That's bullshit, the fact of the matter is were all too chicken shit to just ask a goddamn girl out. Stop making excuses for yourselves and just put your self out there. I now what you're thinking right now, "your all talk, your not gonna do anything yourself so why should I even bother reading this?" What the fuck did I just say!? NO Excuses! That goes for me too so don't look to point a hypothetical finger at me! What was it you guys wanted to do, oh yes buy the Bro Code and swear in on it on Valentine's Day or as you guys call it Desperation day. Now I'm not knocking that idea at all, but I really would like us to do more than just act like were to "loser-ly" and just sit around. As you guys know, I hate, and I mean HATE Valentine's day but that doesn't mean we just say fuck it to looking for a girlfriend in the least bit. Half of the stuff in the Bro Code involves women so, why not honor the other parts of the Bro Code (I move that if we do get those it should replace the Pok'edex as the bible for the group(although I don't like the word bible for it's correlation to Christianity)) too? The fact of the matter is this Grow some balls!

SECOND: The Hudson River Incident
Why a fucking month later is the news still talking about this shit!? What the fuck it wrong with Americans? Not a one person on that plane was a "hero" there was in fact a man who took one of the bad aspects of his job and diverted the situation from tragedy. Does he deserve 15 minutes of fame? Yes. That doesn't mean go on about the shit for a month, having talk show hosts having some fuckbag who got on a fucking plane and Sat there as a guest. Get the fuck over yourselves, shut the fuck up and go about the rest of your miserable fucking lives you asinine fucks. I mean with all the other shit that's going on now, this is the best America as a whole can come up with, that's why humanity makes me sick. I wonder if you agree with me right now I really do...

THIRD: Everything else
* Why don't our grown asses ever leave Brown Deer and do stuff? We have a mode of transportation, mainly the bus because lets face it, Steve would live in his parents basement for the rest of his life if he could. Yes, he would only leave if his parents finally kicked him out (you know there's truth in that so get off your high horse) or we heckled him enough whatever comes first. So why don't we try riding the bus and going some where instead of just going to Kiwi's every weekend? Hell, I have to pay to go out there anyway I might as well try a couple of new places while I'm at it.

* Although I love (heterosexually) hanging out with you guys, why don't we try to see other people more often? This includes people like Coop and Aubin. Oh and I saw on facebook that Catherine has the "car" on Saturday, I can only assume that, that means the van, if so, since it's going to be warm as all hell outside we can walk and so stuff. Unfortunately it's more than likely going to be just Andrew, Chris and I since Steve isn't the most reliable person when it comes to hanging out and Kiwi is going to be gone camping. If that's true why don't we try to get some more people (like the ones I just mentioned) and hang out with them. I do have work today though so I'll see you guys afterward and if not on Saturday since I did want people to try to show up to my place.

* Guess what, you'll never believe this, but:
S: I only wish for the death of my enemies! Flesh and bones! Only Flesh and Bones!
O: You'll have to excuse him, you see Jacob is quite tired and straining his mind so much has only angered Sanji to an almost primal state.
Yes you guessed it, this entire time I've been having a conversation with Sanjioshi on my mental health and it seems you'll have to thank Sanji for the inspiration behind this rant and Oshi for still finding a way to calm Sanji down.